My adult life
by GinervaMollyWeasleyPotter
Summary: Cammie and Zach's life after United We Spy. They got married at 19 and are facing the ups and downs of marriage. Please Review or comment!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, ALLY CARTER DOES. ALSO I DIDN'T EDIT THIS SO THERE MIGHT BE MISTAKES. LASTLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO REVIEW THIS STURY PLEASE DON'T BE UNNECESSARILY MEAN. THANK YOU FOR READING!**

Zach and I got married when we were 19. We were on a mission together and someone fired at shot. It was aimed at my heart. Luckily, I was wearing a bulletproof vest. It scared us both though. When we got back, we went to city hall and got married. Only My mother, Mr. Solomon, Agent Townsend, Aunt Abby, Macey, and Liz were there. Bex was on a mission. I still remember the look on Macey's face when I told I was getting married in 24 hours. She was on the phone non –stop for the next day. She managed to get a designer bridal dress, a string quartet, and a very good photographer. I'm still not sure how she did it. I never told anyone this, but Regret getting married as early as I did. I mean there was never a question who I was going to marry I just wished I had waited maybe traveled, finished college first, and planned a real wedding. Still I love Zach more than anything. I guess the only really regret I have is that we are never going to have kids. Zach refuses to even talk about having kids. His mom hurt him and he doesn't want to hurt his kids. I'm only 24 so I could have kids in the future, but I don't think his going to change his mind. I tried to talk to Bex, Macey, and Liz about this

Bex said" Who needs kids, you're only 24 Cam. They'd destroy your career"

Macey doesn't really like kids.

Liz said" Cam if you want kids you have to talk to Zach about it, not me."

Which brings me to tonight. I made Chicken and tonight we are finally going to talk about kids. Wish me luck!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I do not own this **

" Zach I want to have kids."

"Cammie I want to go bungee jumping." He said with a smirk

" I'm serious."

" Cam you know how I feel about kids"

" But we never talked about how I felt"

" You agreed when we got married to not have kids. I asked you and you said you were find with it." He's speaking calmly as though he was stating a fact

" Zach I was 19, I was too young to know what I wanted in life. I still was sure I was going to live to be 24."

"No we are spies Cam, What if one of us dies on a mission?"

" Then one of us will just be a single parent"

" How'd that work out for you?"

" Fine."

"Fine? Cam, it scared you for life. No we are not having kids. That's final," He shouted.

I knew better than to press him. After Dinner, I did the dishes, Talked to Liz and Bex, and read a book. It was what I usually did, but something felt off.

The next day I talked to my mom over the phone

" Hon is everything okay with you and Zach"

" Wh-wh-why do you ask that?" I stammered. My mom is a great spy so I guess it didn't really surprise me that she knew.

" No reason, it's just you have been married for 5 years, but you've never even mention having kids."

" I'm only 24."

"Yes, but you've never mentioned it. I had you when I was 25."

"So, I'm not you."

" Can you have kids"?

" Yes."

"How does Zach feel about kids?"

" Why are you suddenly asking about kids?"

" So Zach doesn't want to have kids."

" Mom we are not having kids not now, not ever."

And then I hung up and cried and cried. Zach came home early and found me crying.

" What's the matter Gallagher Girl?"

I needed some space for him. I was mad at him, mad at his mom, and lastly mad at myself.

" I love you Zach, but I need some space I think I'm going stay with Liz for a day or two, okay?" I kissed him on the cheek and left. I got in my car and drove around a few blocks to make sure he wasn't tailing me. Then I just sat there sobbing. I googled pictures of babies on my phone. I found a picture of a baby girl and I whispered to her" I would have named you Eleanor."

**End of the chapter**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of these. Also the story is going to skip ahead a few months after Zach and Cammie make –up. **"Hello Liz, this is Zach."

"Hey Zach, how can I help you?" Liz replied cheerfully

" Can I talk to Cammie?"

" I have no idea were Cammie is."

" Oh. We got into a fight and she said she was spending the night at your house."

"It was about having kids wasn't it?"

" Does Cam usually tell the whole universe our problem?" he snapped.

" No, she doesn't."

" Then how did you know?"

"Zach you and Cam have been married for five year, you both are at a reasonable age, and you both have a steady income. The only reason you guys haven't had kids because one of you isn't ready, and I'm guessing it's you"

"This is none of your business, I just need to know were Cam is."

" Try texting her. Bye Zach." The line went dead. Zach grabbed his iPhone and wrote Cam

_Cammie, I am so sorry. Please come home. I love you_

He sent the text and waited 4 minuets and 46 seconds for a reply

He decided to sent Cammie another text

_Cammie is not that I don't want to have kids with you, I'm just afraid of screwing them up, but if I was going to have kids with anyone it would be you. Please come home and we'll talk about it in a year._

Five minuets later he got a response.

_I love you too._

Zach fell asleep at 12: 30 with Cammie in his arms.

Five Week Later

I was really excited. Today Zach was going to come home. Liz was picking him up from HQ. Four weeks and four days ago he was called away on a mission, just a brief one. Still I miss him a lot. I'd been feeling a bit nauseous lately. Also my nose was running and I had a sore throat. I think I was coming down with the flu. I was going to the doctor's later today, but not until Zach came home. I kept checking my phone. The day was moving so slowly. It was 2:00. Zach was supposed to be home at 1:30, but traffic was bad. When Liz called me, I jumped to get my phone.

" Liz did you pick up Zach yet?"

" Cam there's been a slight problem." She said softly

**Please review this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except for the ones I make up. Please Review. **" Zach slipped into a coma. We aren't sure when. We found Him three hours ago."

" THREE HOURS AGO AND YOU ARE CALLING ME NOW!"

" Cam I know you're upset, but we really couldn't call you until now."

" Can I see him? "

" No, I think you should just go on with your day. We will let you know when you can see him. Bye Cam."

I cried and cried. Then I called Macey and told her what was happening and crying again.

" Hey Cam didn't you have that Doctor's appointment today?"

" Yeah, why though?"

"I think you should go, it's important to maintain your health."

"But Zach's in the hospital."

"So, You should still make sure you don't have the flu."

"Okay I guess I'll go."

I drove downtown I went to the doctors. The room was clean and white. I couldn't help wondering what sort of room Zach was in right now. I love Zach I never really imagined life without him. I don't think I would ever get married again. He was no is the love of my life. I told of my wedding ring and looked at the word inscribed

"You have been the last dream of my soul."

The quote is from a _Tale of Two Cities. _I thought that quote was beautiful; I always use to quote it for Zach. He surprised me one day by inscribing it on my wedding ring. I never asked him what he thought of the quote. I always assumed he didn't like. I never got to go toa real vacation with him. Sure had traveled with him, but only on missions. It's funny, now I realize I have these entire question I want him to answer. Did he ever read Harry Potter? When did he fall in love with me?

How did he meet Mr. Solomon? Also, What does he think of the name Eleanor?

I start sobbing in a hospital waiting room. A new low, even for me. I was glad to leave when they finally call me in. After running a few tests the doctor came in

" Ms. Morgan" Yeah I kept my maiden name. I never really liked Goode as a last name" It appears you are pregnant"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This can't be happening. Not now. Shit Shit Shit. " The doctor stared at me, so I ended up telling him my whole story. Then he told me I was about five weeks along. He gave me some vitamins and told me my due date was June 7th. I left and drove home. "Well" I thought to my baby " This was unexpected."

**To be continued. Please Review. Also I'm not sure what gender the baby should be or the name. If you have any ideas feel free to leave suggestions in the comments.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. I also want to thank Crazy-for-Goode for reviewing. Also someone brought it to my attention that Cammie kept her maiden name. That will be explained later.**

It had been a month since I had found out I was pregnant. I was only 8 weeks pregnant so I wasn't showing. Zach was no in the hospital and I visited him everyday. No one had figured out yet, but I knew I could only keep it a secret for so long I couldn't decide what to do. Should I keep the baby? Should I put it up for adoption? Zach and I never talked about what would happen if I got pregnant. I honestly don't know what he'd want me to do. I spent hours researching each option. I could keep the baby, because Zach would never forgive me. Still I liked the idea of giving the baby to a family who wanted a kid. I didn't want to terminate the pregnancy. I respected that choice, but honestly I felt that I could raise the baby. I was a 24-year-old married woman with a stable job. The only question was would Zach wake up? If he did I couldn't keep the baby. If he didn't, well I didn't even want to think about that. I patted my stomach. I needed to talk to someone, but whom. I couldn't tell. My mom would want me to keep it seeing as it is her grandchild. Bex would want me to respect Zach's wishes and get rid of it. Liz would want me to keep it because she loves babies. Aunt Abby would probably want me to put is up for adoption saying I couldn't be a single mom and a spy. I actually didn't know what Macy would say, but I couldn't tell Macey and not Bex and Liz. Who could I talk to? Wait; maybe I could talk to Townsend. After all this was his grandchild too. Besides he'd never sugarcoat anything. Plus he's really good at keeping secrets. I decided then to go talk to Townsend. I knew exactly where he would be, by Zach's bedside. Ever since Zach went to the hospital Townsend and me were there. We took shift for the first week. We didn't want him to be alone in case he woke up. Even though everyone else stopped visiting everyday (I don't blame them for having lives) Townsend and I still went everyday. I drove there as quickly as I could without breaking the speed limit. When I got there I saw Townsend a sleep in the chair next to Zach's bed. I never really thought of them as close, but Zach was Townsend's only kid. I know my mom won't leave my side if I was in a coma. I cleared my throat and summoned all of my courage. "Townsend" I said meekly" We need to talk."

**Please review! Again I still don't know if Cammie should have a boy or girl and what she should name the baby. If you have suggestions just let me know. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Also thank you to Crazy-for-Goode who really helped me with this chapter. Please Review!**

**"**What is it Cammie?"

" There's something I need to tell you, but you can't ell anyone."

" You have my word."

"Did Zach ever tell you how he felt about children?"

" I know he didn't want them if that's what you meant."

" Did he tell you?"

"Sort of. "

" I want kids."

" I really don't think I'm the person you want to talk to about this."

" You don't know what I'm going to say," I said

" Ms. Morgan why did you keep your maiden name?"

"What?" I was taken back by this question.

" You still go by Morgan not Goode. Why?"

" It was Catherine's last name and I didn't want her last name."

" What if your kids looked like Catherine. It would be very hard for you and Zach to look at that kid without seeing her."

" I would love my kid no matter what and so would Zach."

" I'm not saying you wouldn't love that kid. I'm just saying it would be hard."

" No it wouldn't because when I looked at that kid I would also see Zach."

" Ms. Morgan I sure you would get past it, but that's one of the reason's Zach doesn't want have kids. He's worried one of his kids would end up like Catherine."

" Yeah. "

" But you don't have to worry about that now. Zach's in a coma." He said grimly.

" I'm 8 weeks pregnant."

" What the F*ck, and you just decided not to tell anyone?" He shouted.

" I didn't see how it was any of your business." I said using a calm icy tone

" You didn't see how it was any of my business? You are not the only one that cares about him. You have been caring his child for two whole months while the rest of us have been thinking that there was no hope."

" It's not just his child. Besides I didn't know I was pregnant for four of those weeks. I told you because I didn't know what do to do with the child." I said softly.

" I'm sorry I shouted at you. Of course it's your child too and you should make whatever choice you think is best. I guess if I had to choose I would choose… never mind." He said

" What?"

" I didn't know Zach while he was growing up and after I found out he was my son I never made a real effort to be close to him. I never knew how to interact with him. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, but I never did. I don't know my son Ms. Morgan. But what I do know was that I was never there for him when he needed me and I will always regret that" His voice cracked as he looked at his sleeping son" and in a spy's life they shouldn't regret anything they do. Life's too short as it is. Keep that baby Ms. Morgan because if you don't I can promise you will regret it for the rest of your life."

**Please review! Again I still don't know if Cammie should have a boy or girl and what she should name the baby. If you have suggestions just let me know. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Please review! Again I still don't know if Cammie should have a boy or girl and what she should name the baby. If you have suggestions just let me know. **

I still didn't know if I wanted to keep the baby. It had been three weeks since I talked to Townsend. To his credit, he didn't tell anyone about the baby not even my mom. I really needed to tell my mom and my friends. Still it was so nice not having to deal with everyone's reactions. I wanted to tell everyone at once, I couldn't bear to tell all of them one on one. I did want to see their reaction and see their looks of pity. I thought I was going to put the baby up for adoption, but then I saw a comment from someone who had just put their kid up for adoption. It said" _Last week, I placed my newborn with an adoptive family. During the pregnancy, I thought giving my baby up for adoption was what I wanted to do; I'm single, in my early 20's, and unemployed. It made the most sense._

_Since leaving the hospital without my baby, everything has changed. I barely eat, barely talk to my friends or family, and have no desire to do anything. I lay in bed, think of my baby, and cry. I look at my baby's hospital pictures and remember how it felt to hold him close, to feed him, to see his smile and his big eyes look at me with wonder. I wake up in the middle of the night, and cry over what I've done. Why didn't I keep my baby? Why? I regret it with every fiber of my being. I know if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would keep my baby._

_I have until Friday to ask for my baby back, but how could I? The adoptive parents have been with me every step of the way since June, excitedly preparing for his arrival. We have had dinners together and long phone calls and never-ending emails... They have become my family, and we've developed such a close bond. The day he was born, they told all their friends and family, took pictures with him, and helped me take care of him in the hospital. Even though it is an open adoption, my baby is still with them and not me._

_I'll never experience his "firsts", and he'll never call me "mom", or come running to me over scraped knees and stubbed toes. I won't be teaching him to read or count, how to use "the big boy potty", or helping with homework and giving him dating advice when he gets older. To him, I will always be the woman who gave him up for adoption."_ After reading that I got scared. That last line was heart breaking. If I gave up my baby I wouldn't be their mom, and Zach wouldn't be their dad. We would just be the people who didn't want them. What if my kid didn't become a spy? If I had a girl I don't think my mom and Mr. Solomon could deal with teaching their grandchild. The way that women described her baby was so sweet. Would I feel that for my baby? The woman said she regretted it with every fiber of her being. She sounded just like Townsend. With my career I could afford to regret something that big. And then I imagined someone else raising my baby. My baby. I was instantly filled with a burning anger. That was my baby. Oh god what was I going to do.

**Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**This Chapter will be told in two parts. The first is Macey's POV and the second is Cammie's. Sorry it took me a while to post this chapter however it is much longer than my normal chapters. Please Review! Thank you for reading.**

Macey POV

Preston and I hadn't gotten engaged yet. People always wondered why. We were clearly in love, we had been dating for quite sometime, the marriage would be approved by both of our families, and we were both out of college and Preston was finishing his final year of law school. In fact I never really knew why Preston and I weren't engaged. It didn't really bother me at all; I just didn't see why we weren't. In our group we were the second most serious relationship (No one could beat Cammie and Zach). Bex and Grant dated on and off. And Liz, Liz wouldn't even consider seriously dating someone until her PhD was finished. Of course we all knew she was going to end up married to Jonas one day. Cammie and Zach got married ridiculously early. I actually thought they were going to regret it for the rest of their lives. But they seem happy, really happy. I guess their trick was to not have kids at an early age. Even still I firmly believed the only reason we weren't engaged yet was simply to annoy my mother. She complains loudly every time we saw her that " We were simply avoiding the inevitable." I'm convinced that she has already planned my wedding. In way I'm sort of jealous of Cammie's wedding because it was small, simple, and most importantly on her own terms. I knew Preston and I were going to get married and eventually maybe have kids. I never really thought about having kids; at first I thought I would never meet the right guy and then when I met the right guy it seemed way too off in the future. I wish it still was that way. Unfortunately I might be pregnant.

I didn't know who to call. Normally I'd call Cam since she is very comforting and helpful in these situations, but I couldn't call her. I couldn't call Preston because He was in Japan on business for the next two weeks. It would be much too hard to get ahold of him. Plus I could call him until I was sure I was pregnant. I couldn't call Bex because she would be massively unhelpful, and I couldn't really call Liz because while Elizabeth Sutton may have many good qualities her ability to keep a secret is not one of them. I decided as tasteless as it was to call Cam.

'Hey Mace, What's up?"

" I think I'm pregnant."

" Have you taken a test?"

"No, but I'm two weeks late and about two weeks ago Preston and I slept together."

" But you haven't taken a test so you really don't know for sure."

"Yeah, I guess."

" Do you have a test?" she asked slowly  
" Yes, I'll take it and call you back. Ok?"

"Okay."

" Oh and Cam you don't mind me calling about this right?"

" Of course why would I mind?"

" Well with Zach being in a coma and all having kids is sort of out of the question for you. I won't want to feel like I'm rubbing it in."

" Oh Mace, Zach and I won't be having kids regardless of the coma."

"But you wanted kids."

" The operative word being wanted. I think kids are amazing and in a perfect world I would have them, but Zach and I are both spies. Kids just don't fit into the picture right now."

"Okay I will call you back in a day after I take the tests and go to the doctor's."

"Okay bye, Mace."

" Bye Cam, stay strong."

I hung up. I felt much better. Cammie didn't want kids I wasn't going to offend her. For a second I felt relaxed and then the whole pregnancy thing hit me. Holy Shit.

Cammie POV (A day later)

Macey was on to me I swear. I made a very convincing (or at least I hope so) case about why I didn't want to have kids. I was 13 weeks along and according to the websites I could start showing any time now. Lately I've been wearing a lot of big sweatshirts. If it looks like I gained a few pounds, I'm hoping people will assume it is because Zach's coma has put a lot of stress on me. I took a desk job for the time being. Everyone assumed it was because I wanted to be near Zach. I stopped drinking everyone assumed it was because I didn't feel like partying with Zach in a coma. My cover story was working perfectly. However I knew in my heart of hearts that I had to tell my mother. She was going to be so upset that I hadn't told her. Even still I knew the longer I waited the more hurt she would get. I decided to make a pros and cons list.

The pro's and con's of telling your mother you are pregnant by Cameron Morgan

Pros

- She would ultimately support you in what ever decision you make

- It would be really nice to talk to someone other than Townsend.

- She's your mother and she has to love you know matter what

Cons

- It might take her a while to forgive you and learn to support whatever decision you make.

- Your mother couldn't help, but get overly evolved in your pregnancy.

- She might be very mad when you tell her.

Ultimately I decided the pro's outweighed the cons and I called my mother.

" Hello Cammie. How are you? I've been meaning to call you, but everything's been so busy here at Gallagher Academy."

" Yeah, that's fine I understand." I stated tiredly

" Cam you don't sound fine. You know that if you ever need to talk, I will be there for you. I completely understand what is like to lose your husband."

"Mom, Zach's not dead."

" Yes, but Cam you need to face the facts; Zach might not wake-up and even if he does it could be years from now." She said in her most soothing tone. I rolled my eyes, It wasn't like I was ignoring the facts, but the doctors had told us they didn't think that he had hit his head that hard. They only believed he be in the coma for a few years max. Of course my mom had to remind me of all the things that could go wrong.

" Mom that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

" What is it Cammie?" She asked worriedly

" Mom I'm pregnant."

There was silence on the line.

" Oh. I get why you are so worried. It's isn't Zach's. Oh honey well I think…"

" MOM of course its Zach's. Why wouldn't it be Zach's?"

" Because then you would be 13 weeks pregnant and you would have told me much sooner, right?"

I was silent

" CAMMERON ANN MORGAN YOU HAVE BEEN PREGNANT FOR 13 WEEKS AND YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL ME!" she shouted

" I'm telling you now, but listen to me you can't tell anyone not even Joe okay?"

" Cam, honey you know you are being ridiculous. You are going to start showing soon, you have to tell people."

" Promise me you won't tell anyone."

" Fine. Have you picked out any names yet?"

" Well for a boy I like Matthew, Zachery, or Joseph. If it's a girl I was thinking Eleanor or maybe Lily."

" Oh what about…"

My cell phone started playing a loud Madonna song, which informed me that Macey was calling me.

" Hey Mom I have a call I really need to take. I will call you back okay?"

"Okay."

I ended the call and answered Macey's. Something was wrong; she was breathing very heavily, and it sounded as though she was crying.

" Mace you okay?"

" Cammie I can't have kids."

" Are you okay?"

" Yeah, I mean I never really though about kids, but now I can't have them."

" You could always adopt a kid."

" Yeah, I just I feel so awful. I can't do the one thing women were put on the earth to do. I'm broken."

"That's not true. You're perfect. I think you should talk to Preston."

" Cam, I'm the heiress to a billion dollar company, who am I going to leave that company to if I don't have kids?"

"You shouldn't worry about that okay? Also do you want be to come over?"

" Yeah, also no thanks right now I just feel like being alone."

" Okay I understand, just let me know if you need anything."

"Okay I will"

She hung up. I was shocked. Macey would have made such a great mother. Why did this have to her, and them a though dawned on me. How could I tell her I was pregnant? How could I her best friend in her time of need tell her I was pregnant? It would be too painful for her to have to plan a baby shower knowing that she would never have one. Crap. I know it was selfish, but all I could think is what am I going to do?

**I still haven't decided if it should be a boy or girl and which of these names I am going to use. If you have any ideas please let me know. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer I do not own these characters. Also I wanted to thank all of you for reading and wish everyone a Merry Christmas Eve. I might post a bonus scene as a present tomorrow.**

I was 15 weeks along and it was the middle of January. I was going to tell my friends today about the pregnancy. I figured now was the ideal time to tell them because I had waited two weeks after learning that Macey couldn't have kids. I had summoned Macey, Bex, and Liz to Zach's room to "talk about stuff." No one was arriving for a least a few hours. Even still I was in Zach's room. I like to come and talk to him. They say that we people are in a coma that they can still hear you. I don't know if I believe that's true. Even still I like to tell him everything. There a great quote about loss. It says, "Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever?" I completely agree with that quote. If only I could have one more conversation with Zach. I know exactly what we would talk about. First we would list our favorite baby names, then we would talk about the baby's future and what to do with it, and then I'd tell one last time how much I love him and how I will never move on. If your husband dies do you stop saying you have one? Or are they always a part of you. When Zach went into a coma my mother gave me this beautiful card that said. "You'll get over it…" It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don't get over it because 'it" is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?" – Jeanette Winterson. I agree with her. Why would I ever want someone to take Zach's place?

" Zach can you hear me?" My voice cracks as I tried to contain my tears" Zach please wake, I need you. " I reach out and my hand brushes through his hair. I lean forward and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Everything is burry through my tears. I don't know what's upsetting me. Maybe it's just the hormones, maybe it's because Zach's in a coma, or maybe it's because I have a child growing inside me that I'm probably never going to know, never going to watch grow-up, never going to tell it how much I love it. Maybe it's all three them. I place my head on Zach's chest and cry and cry for the good part of an hour. Then I get ready to face my friends.

" What'd you suppose Cam wants Lizzie" Bex asked me.

" I don't know I sure hope it's good news though. What'd you think Macey"?

" I just hope it's good news. I need it. Why are you so any Bex?"

" I just need to know what the news is. Zach hasn't woken up so it can't be that. Yet it isn't bad news because she doesn't sound upset. What could it be, it has to be important enough for her to make us fly here and visit her."

" Maybe she has a boyfriend."

" Lizzie don't be ridiculous, Cam would never do that while Zach was still alive" Bex snapped" Cam loves him she wouldn't be able to get over him in two months."

" Sorry"

" While we don't have to wait much longer. We are here." Macey announced

I saw my friend come in. I was still holding Zach's hand.

" How are you Cam" Liz asked worriedly" We know this must be very very hard for you."

" He's not dead yet" I said coldly

" He's still going to be asleep for a long time. That's still got to be very grueling." Liz came over and grabbed my other hand. " I think we all want to let you know that we are here for you."

" Thank Lizzie, actually what I wanted to tell you guys is that I'm pregnant."

Everyone paled and froze. Liz unfroze within a matter of seconds

"That's great Cam! When are you due? Have you thought about name?"

Liz pulled out her calendar ready to mark my due date.

" Liz put that away" Bex said angrily" What the hell were you thinking Cam?"

" Excuse me?"

" I figure you have been pregnant for about 15 weeks. You needed to eliminate this problem when it first happened."

" You mean k-kill my baby?"

" But that's the thing Cam it's not going to be your baby, Zach doesn't want kids. You're going to have to get rid of the baby one way or another."

"It is my choice to make."

" And what happens when Zach wakes up and he sees you and his kid. How are you going to explain to your kid that their daddy doesn't love them?"

" If we had a kid Zach would love it."

" Zach hates kids."

I was really close to crying, this wasn't supposed to be going like this.

" How could you not respect Zach's last wishes?" she looked at me angrily.

" How could you let this thing grow in you, knowing that it would destroy your marriage, and how could you tell this to Macey right after she learns she can't have kids."

" I-I guess I…"

" That's right Cam you didn't think about everyone else around you."

" Bex," Macey interjected" What the hell is wrong with you. It doesn't bother me that Cam is pregnant, it does bother me that you would wanted to kill off a baby for no good reason. That's just wasteful. Congratulations Cammie. I'm sure whatever choice you make will be the right one." She came forward and hugged me then she dragged Bex out of the room.

" Lizzie" I whispered very close to tears " What just happened?"

Liz came forward and hugged me as I cried into her shoulder.

**Please Review! Also I still haven't decided on the gender and which names to use so feel free to tell me your opinion. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took me so long to post this. I wanted to thank Collabkk, JujuGrace, and CourtKeeper1 for reviewing. Please Review. Also I still don't know if the baby is going to be a boy or girl so please let me know your opinion in the comments.**

I was pacing up and down by Zach's bed. I came here so often I knew most of the nurses by first name. I hadn't talked to Bex or Macey since telling them I was pregnant. Honestly I was sort of glad. I didn't need t deal with anything else. Liz had been great though. She stayed for a few days and she's going to try and come and visit every couple of weeks. She just been really supportive and I really appreciate it. I wish I could talk to Bex and Macey about this. I understand why this might be hard for Macey, but I had no idea Bex would take it so badly. She was one of my best friends; I really needed her to be on board with this. I was upset so I decided to re-read some of my old cover-ops reports. The one I read today was the second semester of my sophomore year (When I met Zach). I smiled at all my "missions" like bugging his dorm and going on dates with him. It was so clear that I liked him. I fell asleep dreaming of a time that was so much simpler than now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Liz called Bex for the 5th time today. She finally picked up.

"How long are you planning on avoiding Cam?"

"Hello to you to Lizzie."

"She's really upset you know."

"She should have thought about that before she went and got herself knocked-up"

"She's a married women, it's really not that big of a deal."

"Well considering her husband didn't want kids it is."

"It is really any of our business. Our job is to be there for Cammie and support her no matter what. "

"Well I don't support her choice. It's the wrong one."

"She hasn't made her choice yet."

"We all know she's going to take one look at that baby and decide to keep it."

"What is this really about Bex?"

"What ever do you mean?"

"This isn't really about Cammie being pregnant. It's something else and you are taking your anger out on her."

"No, I'm just very upset with Cammie."

"Why? "

"She's not the only one who cares about Zach."

"Bex um do you love him?"

"Maybe a long time ago, but not anymore. I've got…"

"Did Grant break up with you again?"

There was silence

"He did, didn't he? You're not mad at Cammie, your just taking t out on her."

"No she made a bad decision."

"Bex, I know break-ups are hard, but you need to learn not to take everything out on your friends especially your pregnant friend whose husband is in a coma."

"I still don't agree with it."

"That doesn't mean you can't support her. This is really hard on Cam."

"She looked fine when I saw her. "

"She's a spy Bex, a good one too. It was a cover-up. She looks like she hasn't had a descent night's sleep in weeks. The nurses tell me she comes to Zach's room and cries a lot. And the worst part is her best friend isn't talking to her. "

"So?"

"Bex she's your best friend"

"So?"

"So, suck it up and apologize to her and to Macey."

"What did I do to Macey?"

"You dragged her into the argument."

"Fine Lizzie, I'll apologize."

"Good."

Liz hung up feeling proud of herself, she was glad Bex and Cam's friendship would be back on track

"Hey Cammie?"

I turned around to look at who was calling me. It was Townsend.

"Yeah."

"Wow, your starting to show."

"That's exactly what every woman wants to here. That there getting fat."

"Well you are four months along, it's only natural…"

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to know what you were going to name the baby."

"Well I don't know if t's a boy or a girl. I can find out next week."

"Still you must have a few names picked out."

"Um yeah, I do" I say nervously

"Let me guess, you are going to name the kid Morgan."

"Actually that wasn't on my list."

"Oh, well what was on your list."

"Matthew or Zachery if it's a boy or Eleanor or Lily if it's a girl."

"Zach always liked the name Louisa." He said

"It's a pretty name" I say wondering what he's getting at.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me sounding generally concerned.

" Fi-Fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well you are caring my grandchild and I was just wondering if you are alright."

"I'm fine, thanks. How's Abby?"

"Oh she's good."

"How come you guys never had kids?"

"I don't really know. I guess because I already had a son."

"Yeah, but you missed 18 years of his life, wouldn't you want a second chance?"

"Ms. Morgan life isn't about second chances; it's about dealing with the choices you made. You can't keep running from your mistakes hoping that next time you wouldn't make the same ones." He smiled sadly at me" I'm going to get some coffee from downstairs, do you want anything?"

"No thanks"

As he left the room I couldn't help, but think about what he said. I had made a lot of mistakes in my life, but this baby wasn't going to be one of them.

Bex was a fairly outgoing person. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind, or dive into the unknown. Out of all of her friends she was the irrational one who leaped before thinking. Yet for some reason the though of apologizing scared the hell out of her. Cam was going to be a mother. She was taking this huge step and all Bex had being doing was making her cry. Bex wanted to be there for Cam she really did, but it just was so painful to watch Cammie get her happy ending. Even still Bex knew what she had to do. She called up Cammie.

_To be continued_

**Thank you for reading. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Please Review or tell me what gender you think the baby should be!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it took me so long to update. Also this is sort of short chapter. I still don't know what to name the baby so please feel free to leave suggestions. Thank you to everyone who told me what gender they thought the baby should be. Please Review! **

"Hey Cammie, I'm really sorry."

" It's okay. We all screw-up sometimes."

" Well I massively screwed-up. I'm so sorry."

"It's really fine. Grant told me about your break-up. I'm sorry."

" Yeah, I had hoped to get married, but he just wasn't ready for that step yet."

" As someone who got married young I can tell you, it's better to wait until both people are ready. That way you have issues like weather or not you want to have children resolved."

" Speaking of which are you keeping the baby."

" I know it's stupid to keep it because Zach doesn't want kids, but I don't think I could go on knowing that someone else was raising my baby. It would hurt too much."

" Wow, you must be really close to the baby already."

" Yeah, it's been really nice knowing that some part of Zach is with me all the time."

"That's sweet."

"What do you think I should do honestly?"

" Honestly I think you should keep it. You are a married women and Zach might never wake-up. So getting rid of it for his sake isn't the best plan."

" All of those things you said were true though."

"Don't listen to that. I was angry."

" Yeah, well I hope you feel better about your break-up."

" Thanks Cam for being so understanding."

"No problem"

" I got to go, Sorry, Bye."

I hung up feeling glad I could never do this without Bex's support.

My mom came in that weekend and took me to old navy to get maternity clothes. I never really was that into fashion. I just picked out some jean and shirts and a few dresses for when it get's warmer. My mother made me try on a bunch of things. It was utterly exhausting. Been pregnant is really hard. After taking my 5th pee break my mother sensed I was getting tried and we went home. I had a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I would get to find out the gender of the baby. I'm still not sure if I wanted to. I decided to ask my mom

" Did you find out my gender before I was born?"

" No, but your father did."

" Why didn't you?"

" Well I thought you were going to be a girl and I guess I wanted to be surprised."

" I don't know if I want to know yet."

" Well it helps to know the gender so that you can pick out clothes, toys, and even names. We choose Cameron because it works for both girls and boys."

"I already know what I 'm going to name the baby."

" What?"

"It's a secret."

" That's fine. You should probably take a nap, you look really tired."

"Okay. Hey mom I just wanted to thank you for caring me around for nine months. I love you."

"I love you too Cam."

I went to the doctors with my mom. The room was clean and nice smelling. The walls were painted a dull gray and the florescent lights were too bright and casted and unflattering light on everyone. I sat on a hard black plastic chair. There were all these parenting magazine. I decided to read the naming section. Even though I told my mother otherwise I had no idea what to name my child if it was a girl. All of the names in the magazine were really uncommon. The only two I actually might use were Bess and Bonnie. They both sounded really sweet. I was thinking about them when the nurse called us in. The doctor checked up on everything and when they pulled up the sonogram of my baby I started crying. I missed Zach. I wish he was here with me sharing this moment with me. I don't know how much longer I could do this without him. He is my rock. I really hope that he wakes up before the baby is born. My mom squeezes my hand and strokes my hair.

" Ms. Morgan" the doctor said

" Y-yes" I stammered.

" Would you like to know the gender of your baby?"

"Sure."

" Ms. Morgan you are having a baby girl."

**I think the next chapter is going to skip a few months. I still don't know what to name the baby so please feel free to leave suggestions. Please Review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**So a lot of my reviewers were wondering when Zach would wake-up. I didn't want him to wake-up until Cammie was pretty far along in her pregnancy, so I skipped a few months. I don't think I skipped anything important, but if you feel that way please let me know. Also please tell me what you think I should name the baby. Please Review!**

Three Months later.

I 'm seven months pregnant and I still haven't picked out a name yet. I've done everything else. I've painted the nursery, picked out a godparent, attended the baby shower Liz planned for me, bought a crib and a car seat, and gotten baby clothes and toys. Everything was in order. Expect for the name. I also didn't know what the child's last name would be. At first I thought it's last name should be Goode, but then my mom pointed out than me and my baby would have a different last name. Liz suggested I change my last name, but I still don't want to. I always thought it was rather silly that the girl had to take the guy's name. Another reason it would be hard to switch my name was because in the spy industry you are known by your last name only. People knew me as Agent Morgan, not Agent Goode. It would be quite hard to switch. I guess that if Zach woke up it wouldn't be an issue. I could always say the kid's last name was Morgan-Goode. I guess I'll figure that out later. I was quite visibly pregnant at this point. I put my hand on my belly. I did this often now. Actually when I missed Zach I talked to my baby. Then an idea popped into my head. What if I told the baby all the names, maybe she would kick while I was talking. That could help me make the decision.

"Are you a Eleanor?"

Nothing happened."

"Are you a Bonnie or a Bess?"

Nothing happened

"Are you a Lily or Louisa?"

Still nothing.

Great. I needed to eliminate at least one name. I guess Lily was my least favorite. Now I only had four names. I guess the real reason I hadn't picked out a name yet was because I wanted Zach to have a say in what we named our child. I wanted him to wake up and tell me I made the right decision. Zach was doing well. The doctors still had no idea when he was going to wake up though. Enough worrying about Zach, I was going to do something fun. I decided to watch Diehard. The problem with your husband being in a coma is that you ready don't have anything to do on weekends. I was about half way thought the movie when Liz called me.

"Cammie guess what?" She sounded really excited.

"W-what?" I said grooggly because I fallen asleep during the movie.

"Zach woke-up two hours ago."

"HE WOKE-UP TWO HOURS AGO AND YOU ARE CALLING ME NOW! ALSO HOW COME THE HOSPITAL CALLED YOU NOW ME."

"The CIA actually called me. We have been running tests and briefing him on his former mission however you have not been cleared to see him."

"Lizzie?"

"Yeah Cam?"

"Did you tell him about the baby?"

"Of course not Cam. It's not my place."

"Okay, I'm coming over."

I speed all the way to the hospital with my heart literally racing. I ran into the hospital (which was pretty hard to do since I was pregnant) and to Zach's room.

"Cam!" he grabbed my shoulders and then cupped my checks and pulled me close to him. I smiled not caring that both Liz and Agent Townsend were in the room. He placed his arms around me and we kissed the kiss was soft at first, but the kiss reminded me of those seven months I had gone without kissing him and I wanted more. I pressed my lips forcefully against his as his hand rand down my back. I rapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer kissing him with a very high level of intensity. Unfortunately Zach's stomach collided with my bump and he broke away. He placed his hand on my stomach.

"Cam what the hell?" he said very shocked

"Townsend let's go get some coffee" Liz said as she ushered him out.

"Wait a second" Townsend stopped a the doorway " Zach, I know you don't want kids, but keep in mind that Cam didn't know if you were going to ever wake up and she did this on her own so go easy on her." He and Liz left the room.

"Cam" Zach started slowly and angrily

"Zach wait, before you say anything I thought I should tell you I got pregnant before you left for your mission. I'm seven months pregnant with a girl and I plan on keeping her."

"Cam we agreed not to have kids." He looked shocked.

"Zach…" I whispered as my eyesight became blurry.

Zach noticed the tears welling up in my eyes and bent his knees a bit so his eyes were level with mine.

I was fighting back tears and feeling that had been pent up inside of me for so long. I tried to string together a coherent thought. I was looking down at the floor blinking rapidly. I knew the second I stared talking the tears would spill over. I waited for Zach to pull me into an embrace. I wanted the comfort of his arms and to hear him murmur that everything was going to be all right. I closed my eyes imagining the closeness as a few tears squeezed out. After a minuet when I realized he wasn't going to do anything I felt really disappointed. I watched him cock his head to the side and look at me puzzled.

"I'm sorry." I began softly. " I know you didn't want kids, but you were in a coma and I was so scared of losing you."

"What were you thinking?" he asked angrily. His eyes were scanning my face searching for answers.

"I wanted kids with you and at the time I thought that this baby was the only way it was going to happen. Besides the doctors said that you might not wake-up for 15 years. I didn't want to regret not ever having kids with you. If I gave the kid up I would always wonder what if. What if you never woke-up? What if my kid never became a spy? What if it was a mini you? What if you loved the kid? I had to know. I couldn't have regrets or what if's."

"Cam I'm really confused by all the crying and what you're saying. I have no clue what's going on with you. We both agreed not to have kids. How could you do this to me? Why would you do this to me?" He started at me.

"That was before you fell into a coma. Zach I saw you lying on a hospital bed no moving. They told me to be prepared in case you never woke-up. They also told me that you could possibly have permanent brain damage and not be able to talk, or, walk. They told me that there was a possibility that when you woke –up you would recognize or remember me. I was so scared Zach, so scared." I sniffed a bit. "The reason I kept this baby is because I could never get rid of a part of you. This baby maybe she's going to have your eyes, or your smirk, or your hair. The point is she will have something of yours because she is a little part of you. I thought I had lost you forever or for a very long time. And then I learned I had a piece of me with you all along. I was going to get a little bit of my Zach back. I never could have given her up; it would have been like losing you all over again. And I am so very very relieved that you have woken up" I pause as tears stream down my face" But I can't, no I won't keep up the thing that saved me while you were going. Who's to say it won't happen again. What if you died on a mission? I need this baby, Zach because this baby makes me feel closer to you, it made me able to get up everyday, and it gave me something to live for. And I just hope you can see how wonderful our daughter is too." I could barely see anything through my tears as I ran out f the hospital room.

"Cam" Zach called "Cam wait up."

_To be continued_

**Sorry there wasn't much Zammie however there will be much more in the next chapter. Thank you for reading. Also please tell me what you think I should name the baby. Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I want to thank Princessnina070, Zero Hitsugaya, Rangobean, Sportygirl247, and Operative CG16 for their reviews and Crazy-for-Goode for being my beta. Please tell me what you think the baby should be named and please Review!** "Cam" Zach called "Cam wait up."

I know I should be an adult and stay and talk to him. Instead I ran away from him, scared of what he was going to say next. I couldn't run very fast since I was seven months pregnant, but Zach couldn't run very fast because he hadn't used his legs for six months. However I knew he was going to catch-up with me eventually so I invoked plan B. Hide in the girl's bathroom and cry. I knew Zach wouldn't come in here. God why was I so stupid! Why did I keep this baby! Did I think that coming up with some clever speech was going to fix anything?

"Stupid, stupid" I screamed as hit my hand against my head hard. I collapsed on the floor and broke down sobbing. I'm not sure how long I was crying. It felt like hours. I vaguely remember seeing someone scoop me up bridal style and carry me back to Zach's room. When I woke up, I was on the couch in Zach's room. Zach was sitting next to me holding my hand.

"Please don't ever do that again, it was scary," He said.

" You being in a coma for six months is scary." I pause and shudder. "I'm keeping this baby Zach and if …."

"Shhh, Gallaher Girl let's not talk about this now. This should be a happy occasion for us. Let's just forget about her for a little bit."

For some reason that statement made me angry. I know Zach was trying to be nice, but he wanted us to just "forget about our daughter for a little bit" no way in hell.

"Do you know what else should have been a happy occasion, me telling my husband of five years that I was pregnant, but instead I have to defend my reasons for keeping a child. And do you know what's the cherry on top of my non-existent sundae? You would be an amazing father. I know you would. And if you think that I'm going…" I was shouting by now. I stood up ready to leave. Zach must have sensed how angry I was so he cut me off.

"Gallagher Girl, my mother hurt me and my father hurt me. For a long time I thought I was going to die alone. But then I met you and you changed everything. You were the one person who looked at me and didn't see her in me." He shutters at the thought of his mom." When I was little I use to promise myself I would never bring a child into the world. I would never put a child through the pain that I had put through. It wasn't that I hated the idea of having kids. It wasn't that I hated the idea of having kids I, it's that I hated the idea of hurting them." Zach ran a hand nervously through his hair.

"Zach I really don't need to hear right now that you don't have kids."

"No, no Cam just let me finish. "

"Okay."

" My mother was an awful human being. I hated her and I thought because of her I would never even have kids. I don't want my kids to have a part of her. What if they became her? I understand why you kept your maiden name; you didn't want a last name that had been soiled by her. When we were in our senior year you told me I would be a great dad. Now I don't think that's true, but I know one thing. You would be an amazing mom. And if you really want this kid, I guess I can learn to accept it."

"Learn to accept, no Zach you have to love this kid. That's what being a good parent is all about loving your child and wanting what's best for them. Sure we are going to make mistakes along the way, but if we genuinely love her and try our best to provide and raise her then she's going to turn out okay. But if you don't love, she will have just as many daddy issues as you."

"Daddy issues, really Cam? And of course I love our child, how could I not? She's going to remind me of her mom, I'm just scared right now that all."

"Zach I'm scared too! I was scared out of my mind when you were in a coma. Please just say you are okay with me been pregnant."

"Of course I'm okay with it. I wouldn't have planned it this way, but as Allen Saunders once said 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.' So yeah it's not something I wanted, but that doesn't mean I will love our child any less. Now I believe our kiss got interrupted. "

" Zach you can't possibly…"

Zach grabbed my shoulders pushed me against the wall. I reflexively tried to step away, but he just took a step closer leaving only inches of space in between us.

"Cameron Ann Morgan I love you and I will always love you. And I will also love our child."

My eyes started swelling with tears.

"Did I do something wrong. I'm so sorry Cam."

" No I'm just really happy." In one swift motion I pulled his arms around me and wrapped my hands around his neck, closing the distance between us. I kissed him quickly. Afterwards he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. He ran his fingers through my hair. He leaned down slowly and pressed his lips forcefully against mine and our kiss became very heated very quickly. He then slowly dipped me (well not really since I was pregnant and couldn't really bent) and kissed me. Someone cleared their throat very loudly behind us.

"Guys stop been gross."

We broke away and turned to look at Bex stand there with her arms crossed.

"Bex, not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but you are interrupting a very important moment between Cammie and I, so if you could come back later." Zach stated.

"God you are so desperate to get some. I just came to see you since you woke up out of your coma."

"Well I'm glad you're here Bex, I wanted to thank you and Macey, and Liz for taking care my Gallagher girl while I was in a coma." He planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Oh, well I'm going to go find Liz and Townsend,"

" Thanks Bex" Zach called out to her as she left the room. " So Cam, where were we?" He leans in for another kiss, but I push him away.

"We need to talk about names and godparents. I either want to make Liz the god parent or give our child the middle name Elizabeth."

"Won't your other friends be offended? Also I feel like everybody's middle name is Elizabeth."

"She was the only one who was really there for me during my pregnancy. Also Elizabeth is a good middle name."

"Fine, Liz can be the godparent, but also I think we should pick out a first name before we pick out a middle name. What were you thinking?"

"Well I have four. The first one is Bonnie."

"That's good."

"Bess"

"Well you can't give that child Elizabeth as a middle name because Bess is actually a nickname for Elizabeth."

"Eleanor and Louisa."

"I like Louisa, but I hate Eleanor."

"What's wrong with Eleanor?"

"It's weird. You can pick the name as long as it's Bonnie, Bess, or Louisa."

"Eleanor is not weird it's a beautiful name. Also what about last names? Should it be Goode or Morgan-Goode?"

"I think it should be Morgan."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want my kids have my mother's last name."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Hey guess what? In less than five minuets we choose our kid's godparent. Last name, and middle name!"

I smiled at my husband. And then it hit me. I was going to have to pick out my child's name. Crap how was I going to decide?

**Please tell me which name you think I should pick. I still might name the baby Eleanor. Thank you so much for reading! Please Review! **


	14. Chapter 14

**I decided to skip ahead a bit again. I think the rest of this story will continue to sometimes skip a few months. Thanks to eviemiss100, Sportygirl247, Zero Hitsugaya, Crazy-for-Goode, collabkk, GraceFilms14, Ranobean, and Operative CG16 for your reviews. This is your last chance to tell me what you think I should name the baby. Please Review! **

A month and a half after the last chapter.

"Please Zach!"

"Cam no! Eating Cheetos are bad for the baby."

"One measly cheeto couldn't hurt."

"No, but if you have one cheeto you are going to want a second, and then a third, and then a…"

"Okay, I get it no Cheetos. God sometimes being pregnant sucks. I mean I love my baby, but I can't eat Cheetos or seafood. I can have caffeine. Plus I can't drink or smoke."

"Baby you don't smoke."

"Well I sure would like the option."

"Cam I love you, but that is ridiculous. Just wait two more weeks and then you can have all the Cheetos, alcohol, seafood, caffeine, and cigarettes you want. Actually no cigarettes because it isn't good to smoke around little kids."

"Zach, I was never actually going to smoke! Just think, two more weeks and then week can celebrate, if you know what I mean." I ran my hand down his back.

"Cam please stop."

"Fine." I pouted. Zach smiled at me. It wasn't his usual smirk. This was a soft friendly smile. It was getting late and I was tired so I decide to head up to bed. Zach and I were sleeping in different rooms because apparently my loud snoring, constant thrashing, and my frequent trips to the bathroom bugged him. I missed him like hell, but I couldn't blame him for wanting some peaceful sleep before the baby came. I laid down and tried to relax. The baby was kicking so it was hard to fall asleep, however eventually I did. I woke up at five in the morning covered in a dried pool of my own blood.

"ZACH!" I screamed loudly. I started crying what if something had happened to my baby. "ZACH HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME. PLEASE!" I continued to sob. Zach ran in to the room as fast as he could.

"Gallagher girl what's wrong."

"Zach look at the blood. There's all this blood." I cried into his shoulder.

"Cammie it's okay, you just had a very bad bloody nose. That's all babe, our daughter is fine." He stroked my hair softly.

"H-how do you know it's a bloody nose? How come there isn't blood coming out of my nose?" I asked while sniffling.

"Well honey the bloody nose stopped. However you have lots of blood on your face, also there is blood on the right spot of your pants. You just had a very bad bloody nose. "

"Oh, sorry for waking you up." I smiled sheepishly.

" It's fine Cam, the baby's fine. I love you babe." He kissed the top of my forehead. I grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. He was kissing me hard and passionately. I licked his lips begging for admission, but then he suddenly backed away.

"Cam, no stop. We can't do this."

"Why not?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry Gallagher Girl. I'm going back to my room, okay?"

"Wait, Zach please don't leave me." I started crying. " Sorry, pregnancy hormones."

"Gallagher Girl I will never ever ever leave you. " He scooped me up as if I weight nothing. Which was pretty impressive because I was eight and a half months pregnant. He carried me into our bedroom and gently laid me down on the bed. He laid down next to me. I laid me head down on his chest and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"I'm just so scared." I whispered.

"Cam you don't need to be worried, I protect you and the baby, always."

I buried my head in his chest. " I love you so much."

" I love you too Gallagher Girl."

"I'm still scared though."

"Why?"

"Childbirth."

"Oh, Cam. I'm noting saying it will be easy, but I will be there every step of the way. I'll hold your hand and let you swear at me. We will get through it together."

"Okay, thanks Zach."

I closed my eyes. The baby wasn't kicking and I felt completely relaxed and safe in Zach's arms. His amazing shampoo smelled great. I eventually drifted of into a peaceful slumber. I actually didn't wake-up that night. Zach woke me up that morning and we went to the kitchen to have breakfast. I was in a good mood and I decided to make scrambled eggs. I had set everything up and was about to pour the eggs into pan when I felt a very stronger stomach cramp. It hurt like hell and I dropped the bowl I was holding out of shock.

"Cam, you okay?"

"Yeah though I think I just had a contraction."

"Okay well according to the parenting books we need to measure the amount of time in between contractions." He pressed a few buttons on his watch." Okay I've started the timer and I added 30 seconds." Zach held my hand as we waited. After unknown minutes I felt it again.

"Cammie your contractions are ten minutes apart. Apparently we should wait for your water to brake or for your contractions to be five minutes apart."

"Okay." I muttered shakily.

We watched an episode of some silly show. We had been sitting on the couch for about an hour when my water broke.

"ZACH MY WATER BROKE!"

"Oh w-w-what do you want me to do?' Zach asked nervously. "Do you have an overnight bag?"

"No don't worry about it. Just get me the phone and start the car okay?"

"Okay."

Zach helped me waddle to the car. As we started driving I called Liz on the phone. It went to voicemail.

"Hey Liz it's Cam. I'm going into labor and I really appreciate if ZACH THAT'S COMPLETELY ILLGEAL ARE YOU TRYING TO GET USE KILLED? Sorry. Could you please stop by the hospital with me bag? Thanks so much. Bye." I hung up. "Zach do I need to drive this car?"

"No, I'm sorry Cam. I'm just nervous."

"You're nervous, you aren't the one whose going to have to squeeze out a baby!"

I could already tell this was going to be a very long drive.

_To be continued._

**Thank you for reading! Please review and tell me what you think I should name the baby. The top three names are Louisa, Bonnie, and Bess. Thank you and please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry that this chapter told me so long it was kind of hard for me to write. Thank you for reading. Please review!**

We managed to get half way to the hospital before Liz called me back.

"Hey Cammie!"

"Hey Liz, I don't know if you got my message, but I'm in labor."

"I got your message. Are you okay? It sounded as though Zach wasn't driving properly. I already called your mom and She's arranging for a helicopter to fly her over. Also I am driving to the hospital right now so I should be there in seven hours so I might miss the birth. "

"Thanks Liz."

"Also I thought you should know that your baby has a 96% of being perfectly healthy."

"Thanks Liz, though I have to go because my idiot husband FORGOT HOW TO DRIVE."

"I already said I was sorry." Zach mumbled.

"Yeah." Liz laughed." That was an interesting voicemail, but out of curiosity what did he do?"

"Oh, he went the wrong way on a one way."

"Are you sure he's okay to drive."

"I hope so because I'm not OW OWWW OWWWWWW. Liz I'm going to need to call you back." I hung up the phone." DRIVE FASTER ZACHERY GOODE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL" I was cut off when Zach kissed me on the lips.

"I know you're in a lot of pain, but we are almost at the hospital and I love you so much. I know you can do this."

"GET YOUR FREAKIN EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU IDOIT!" I screamed.

"Sorry Cam." Zach said as he swerved to avoid a car.

"OMG I REFUSE TO DIE BEFORE I EVEN GET TO THE HOSPITAL!"

Luckily we pulled up into the hospital. I felt kind of embarrassed walking the hospital with my wet sweat pants, tank top, and messy bun. Also I was crying out in pain. Zach helped me waddle to the front desk and then to my room. I then laid down and scream in pain for a while. The doctor told me that the baby wasn't going to come for a while. Zach let me hold his hand. I squeezed it really hard when I had a contraction. Though Zach never complained when I squeezed his hand really tightly while swearing at him. He just leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. This went on for several hours until my mother came into the room. She had arrived a few hours ago, but had visited me yet because I was in a lot of pain.

"How is she doing?"

"Oh she's okay. She's swearing at me a lot though."

"Do you want to take a break?" my mom asked worriedly.

"Cammie would you mind if I left for a little bit and iced my hand?"

"Fine, just be back before I give birth okay?"

"Of course sweetie." He kissed me on the lips and left.

" How's my only daughter doing?" my mother asked.

"Okay, I'm kind of scared and no one told me how much this would hurt."

"It's okay, it will be over very soon."

" Hey, mom?"

"Yes?"

"My hair, it's in a bun and it really hurts. Could you braid it for me?"

" Sure thing honey."

My mother gently undid the bun. She worked quickly and gently. She was done soon.

" Thanks Mom."

" No problem, I see Zach coming back. I'm going to go wait outside."

"Why?"

" Because you don't want me here while you give birth."

" I love you mom."

" I love you too sweetheart and if your father were here now he would be so proud of you."

My mom left the room as Zach and my doctor entered. My doctor's name was Dr. Fution. She checked on my baby, while Zach held my hand.

" Okay, don't panic, but the baby appears to be in distress. We need to give you a C-section."

" No, I don't want a C-section!" I said nervously. The idea of them cutting my stomach open terrified me.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, we need to get your baby out quickly."

"Zach, please don't make me do this." I scream. I'm starting to cry. Zach leaned down and wiped the tears off my face. He stroked my hair.

" Cammie, it's okay, I promise you I will be there with you every step of the way."

"Okay, I'm ready." I whispered shakily. " But, Zach can you promise me one thing?"

" Anything."

"Please don't look at my stomach after they have cut it up."

"Of course Cam."

And then the doctors sedated me. Honestly having a C-section is nothing like the movies. I don't remember it really, but when I woke up the nurse put a little girl in my arms. I was groggy and all I though of was how perfectly she fit in my arms. How soft her pretty pink blanket was. How cute her little hand was. Zach leaned over and kissed me.

"Isn't she beautiful?" He asked smiling down at us. " What's her name Cam?"

" Louisa Elizabeth Morgan- Goode."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am. Have you held her yet?"

" Yeah, when you were asleep I held her. She's beautiful. She looks just like her mom." He smiled and stroked my hair. " How are you feeling?"

"Sore. No one tells you this, but your bladder feels like scrambled eggs afterwards."

Zach laughed at this. " Also I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

"I love my daughter very much, but I really don't want to have another kid, at least not for a while."

"Cam I didn't know you were planning on having a second kid."

"I'm not, but I just wanted t make sure that we are on the same page. Speaking of which, when do you want to tell everyone the name?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well no one knows the name, but you and me."

" Oh well I could send out a text if you really wanted."

"I guess. Honestly I'm not really sure how you go about doing these things. Hey Zach, I never go the chance to tell you, but thanks for being here with me."

"There isn't any other place on earth that I would rather be."

He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. It was a quick kiss because I was holding Louisa, but it felt amazing still. My baby was so beautiful. She had my eyes, but she looked a lot like Zach too. I never thought I was going to be a mom, but when I looked into her eyes I couldn't help feeling like everything was perfect. I was so tired from everything that I fell asleep very quickly with baby Louisa in my arms.

**I hope you guys liked the name. I 'm not really sure if I want to end this story or continue it. If I did continue it Cammie would probably have another kid. So tell me what you think I should do. Thank you so much for being such fabulous readers! Please Review. **


	16. Preview

**This is a preview of where the story would pick up if I continued. I would probably put a chapter or two in between the last one and this one with some Louisa moments. However this is a very short preview. I hope you enjoy. Please review.**

Two years later

I grabbed Zach's hand; sliding my thumb over his scars he had accumulated over the years. 'Zach we need to figure this out. I know it's hard, but we need to talk about this.' I sighed and leaned on his shoulder.

'Cammie we can't talk about this now.' He wasn't angry, but edgy, and tired.

I know that he was just scared, but nonetheless, I couldn't help but be upset at his juvenile comment. This was a very important decision. "When then? We can't just wait forever."

Zach moved from my side and walked across to the window, staring at nothing. There was an empty look in his eyes when he turned to face me. "I don't know, maybe never."

He turned away abruptly and continued to stare off into the great abyss. I reached out to him; Walking towards him and placing my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged my hand off.

"Fine." My voice was quavering. "I thought that we could make a decision together like mature adults, but evidently I was wrong." I turn away and start to walk out of the room, expecting Zach to try and stop me. He didn't, he didn't even turn away from the window. I know that he was exhausted, upset, and worn-out. And I know that he's not upset with me, but nonetheless I was hurt. I needed him to support me. I had hoped that he would at least help me with this decision. Was that so much to ask for? I walked upstairs to our bedroom promising myself that the tears wouldn't spill over. About half way there I realized that was never going to happen. I ran into the room on to the bed. A single drop of disappointment of Zach and myself welled up inside me and escaped from the corner of my eye and suddenly the dam broke. I put a pillow over my face to cover the torrents of tears. I lifted one callused finger to my chin, dapping the wetness up. My eyes were screaming for justice. I laid there for a few solid minutes feeling sorry for myself. However I knew that I couldn't just lie there forever. I got up and decided to go to Louisa's room. She needed to be woken up from her nap. I tiptoed down the hall , not wanting to upset or startle her. I pushed open he r door quietly. The lights were off and she was sleeping: gently I woke her up.

"Momma?" She rubbed her eyes sleepily. Her short brown hair messed up.

"Hey sweetie, you ready to go to the park" I ask in a singsongy voice that I reserved only for her.

"Is Dada coming?" She smiles innocently, not knowing of the complex situation that we were in.

"Um." I pause unsure how to respond.

**Again this is not a full chapter or even the next chapter this is just a sample of what the story would be like if I continued. Thank you for reading. Please let me know if you think I should continue or not.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Thank you to everyone who review this story. Thanks to Crazy-for-Goode for being my beta**

Two years later

I was waiting for Zach, I hadn't seen him for five weeks and I was aching for his touch. I decided to surprise him and wait for him at the CIA base. Lately he has been working with a team of guys. I'm not quiet sure what they do or where they go, but they keep Zach safe. I was sitting on a wood bench in a small brightly light room. The scents of fuel and cheap air fresher fill the room. I brought Louisa her with me. She's sitting next t me trying not to fidget.

"Momma whens Dada coming?" She asked sweetly.

I slowly ran my fingers through her soft hair. Like me she had a tender head and doesn't react well to people pulling on her hair.

"Soon honey." I missed Zach more than anything and I just wanted him to come home to Louisa and me. I needed him. Two weeks ago I had discovered I was pregnant, again! What were we going to do? I didn't really want another kid, but if Zach wanted another kid I would definitely agree to keep it. I wondered if Louisa even wanted a sibling. Louisa was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Would it really be such a bad thing to have another sweet little bundle of joy?

"Momma." Louisa said softly breaking my chain of thought. "Momma look!" she shouted. I turned my head suddenly to the window see was pointing at. A few tired men were coming of a plane and into the waiting room. I scan the group hopefully looking for my Blackthorne boy He's the last one to come in. As soon as I see him I ran to him" Zach!" I scream. I pulled him into a hug. He wearily puts his head on my shoulder.

"Wait, Goode who's this?" A member of Zach's team looks at me questioningly.

"I'm Cammie, his wife."

"Goode has a wife?" He stops and looks at Louisa who is currently feeling very shy and trying to hide behind the bench "and a kid?"

"Yeah." I don't know why Zach didn't tell his crew about Louisa, and me but I know that he must have a good reason.

"Cam you ready to go?" Zach asks me; pulling out of our head.

"Yeah, Louisa honey come here." Louisa shyly walks over to me and buries her head in my legs. Zach picks her up and hugged her.

"Goode your kid's really cute."

"Yeah, she looks just like her mother. "

That's I nice thought, but it isn't true. Louisa looks like my mother not like me. I grab Zach's hand and pull him out of the building into the car. We get in in and drive for an hour or so. Louisa falls asleep almost right away so Zach and didn't talk. If Louisa didn't get a nap she would be really cranky, and that was never fun. I really wanted to tell him about the pregnancy. After two hours I couldn't take it anymore.

"Zach I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm having a baby." I look at him expecting a reaction, his face is utterly blank.

"Is it mine?"

"Of course it's your" I throw my hands up in the air annoyed.

"I don't want to talk about this now."

"Well we have to talk about it at some point."

"No we don't."

We rode in silence for the rest of the car ride. Afterwards when we got home Zach bolted inside while I careful carried Louisa inside. After putting her in her crib I went downstairs and found Zach. We needed to talk about this

I grabbed Zach's hand; sliding my thumb over his scars he had accumulated over the years. 'Zach we need to figure this out. I know it's hard, but we need to talk about this.' I sighed and leaned on his shoulder.

'Cammie we can't talk about this now.' He wasn't angry, but edgy, and tired.

I know that he was just scared, but nonetheless, I couldn't help but be upset at his juvenile comment. This was a very important decision. "When then? We can't just wait forever."

Zach moved from my side and walked across to the window, staring at nothing. There was an empty look in his eyes when he turned to face me. "I don't know, maybe never."

He turned away abruptly and continued to stare off into the great abyss. I reached out to him; Walking towards him and placing my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged my hand off.

"Fine." My voice was quavering. "I thought that we could make a decision together like mature adults, but evidently I was wrong." I turn away and start to walk out of the room, expecting Zach to try and stop me. He didn't, he didn't even turn away from the window. I know that he was exhausted, upset, and worn-out. And I know that he's not upset with me, but nonetheless I was hurt. I needed him to support me. I had hoped that he would at least help me with this decision. Was that so much to ask for? I walked upstairs to our bedroom promising myself that the tears wouldn't spill over. About half way there I realized that was never going to happen. I ran into the room on to the bed. A single drop of disappointment of Zach and myself welled up inside me and escaped from the corner of my eye and suddenly the dam broke. I put a pillow over my face to cover the torrents of tears. I lifted one callused finger to my chin, dapping the wetness up. My eyes were screaming for justice. I laid there for a few solid minutes feeling sorry for myself. However I knew that I couldn't just lie there forever. I got up and decided to go to Louisa's room. She needed to be woken up from her nap. I tiptoed down the hall, not wanting to upset or startle her. I pushed open he r door quietly. The lights were off and she was sleeping: gently I woke her up.

"Momma?" She rubbed her eyes sleepily. Her short brown hair messed up.

"Hey sweetie, you ready to go to the park" I ask in a singsongy voice that I reserved only for her.

"Is Dada coming?" She smiles innocently, not knowing of the complex situation that we were in.

"Um." I pause unsure how to respond.

**There it is. I'm not sure what's going to happen to the baby. Also there will be more Louisa scenes later and more Zammie later on. Thank you so much for reading and for your support. Please Review**


	18. PreviewZach's POV

**Hey this is just a short little chapter explaining a few gaps. Thanks to kittikat, Divergent-Chameleon-Wise Girl, Gallaghergirl 17, jenna98, Crazy-for-Goode, collabkk, and Zero Hitsugaya for reviewing. **

Zach POV

Cammie was pregnant with my baby. Crap.

I didn't want a kid. My mother was what they called verbally abusive. Sometime all the things that she said to me just play in an endless loop in my head. _You're not good enough, and you never will be. You're selfish. You're immature. You're a sad excuse for a son. I always wanted a child to follow my footsteps instead I got you, some sort of sick joke. You're wrong and you always will be. I'm so disappointed in you. You go to boarding school for one year and you think you know everything don't you. You're a jerk. You'll never amount to anything; you're nothing by a parasite._

"STOP." I scream at the wall." You're dead, you don't get to ruin this."

I never wanted kids; the idea just seemed too painful. Why would I want to bring my kids into this toilet we call the world. But Cammie wanted kids so bad I saw it in her face. How could I deny the person I love the one thing they really want? How could I live with myself knowing that I had kept Cammie from being happy? I couldn't do it. I love Cammie, I always have and I always will. I would cut open my veins for her. And when I woke up for that coma and saw her positively glowing I knew right then and there we were going to have to keep that baby. They way she decribed as her savior , I knew I couldn't take that from her. Don't get me wrong I love Louisa. She wonderful and is a mini version of Cammie, but I just can't help but feel like I'm going to screw things up. Cammie is a natural mom she's great with Louisa. I'm not a natural parent it's not that I don't try it's just not in my nature, but I was finally getting hang of it all. And then Cammie goes and gets herself knocked up. I know I'm being irrational, but why couldn't we just get rid of that baby. There will be one less person to disappoint, one less person to hurt, one less person to push away. It would break Cammie's heart. She's not like me; I bet she's already fallen in love with child. She's so sweet, gentle, and caring. It's one of the many reasons I love her. If I made her give up or get rid of that baby she would always wonder, she would always miss it. She would mourn it's loss forever. She would say it's because that child as a part of her and me in it. I should hope not, but that standard I'm my mother's child through and through. I guess I do love this child growing in Cam, I love it and they why I want to give it the best chance possible. And I needed to decide once and for all if its best shot was with me.

**Thanks for reading and Please review. I'll try to post something soon.**


	19. Chapter 17

** Sorry it took me so long to update! Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story. Please let me know what gender you think the baby should be or what name you think it should have.**

"Cam we need to talk." Zach came over and stood next to me at the window. I didn't turn to face time.

"What ever about." I asked. Of course I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, I just enjoyed watching him squirm.

"About the baby, I've been doing some thinking and I don't think we should keep it."

"We are keeping our baby Zach." I turned to face him narrowed my eyes at him to show that this discussion was over.

"You're being unfair."

"And you're been irrational." I looked away and crossed my arms.

"Cam." He said softly. "I would go to the moon and back for you, but this is the one thing I can't do." He grabbed my cold pale hand and held in between his warm ones.

"What can't you do? Be a parent? Because I hate to break it to you, but you've been a parent for the last two years."

"Yeah a bad one."

"So now you're suggesting we put our daughter up for adoption as well?"

He pulled away angrily.

"No don't put words into my mouth."

"You're a great parent Zach and honestly I see no reason not to keep this baby. We both have steady jobs, we have a good income, we have a nice house we have been married for seven years, and we already have one kid. We are great parents."

"Cam please don't make me do this." He begged.

"Well it's good to know that you hate raising our kid so much." I say coldly. I know he does mean it like that, but I'm still angry.

"Cam, no I love raising our kid, it's amazing."

"Then why don't you want another one? I'm trying to be understanding here, I really am, but what did I do wrong? Why don't you want to have kids with the love of your life?" I'm crying at this point. " Or am I really the love of your life? Is there another women because if there's another women I swear to God Zach I will get Bex to…" I never got to finish my threat as Zach grabs me and kisses me. He breaks way and holds me in his arms

"Cam of course you are the love of my life. I just can't explain why I don't want the kid, but you just have to trust me. I know it's going to be hard for you…

"No you can't ask me to do something this big and not even tell me why! It's just not fair, I would never ask you to do something like this."

"You asked me to keep Louisa."

"That is hardly the same thing, besides you love being a father. I see your face light up every time you see her."

"Cam, I can't go through it again. Please I'm begging you." He grabbed me hands and started at me. " Cam do you love me?"

"Zach, that's a stupid question, of course I love you."

"Then you won't make do this."

"Zach, it's not that simple. You love being a parent and I know you have trust issues and you were verbally abused as a kid, but you have to trust me when I say you will regret it for the rest of your life if you make me give up our child. It's not a question of weather I love you or not."

"I can't let you keep it."

"Yes you can." I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss him on his forehead. "I know you can"

I leave the room knowing Zach needs to be alone for a bit. And to be honest so do I. He thinks he doesn't want the baby because he's scared so he's trying to take the easy out. I know how much Louisa means to him. He's a great dad and I know he would love this baby. But if he really doesn't want it, I guess in the end I will have to respect his wishes. God, am I going to have to give up my baby? I ran up stairs and into Louisa's room. I picked my daughter out of her crib and rocked her back and forth as I sobbed. Louisa was too big for me to hold in my arm so I rested her head on shoulder. Louisa knew something was wrong. I think she was worried about me. It probably was quite weird for her to see me cry. She reached up and patted my hair and placed a slobbery kiss on my check. Her kiss only made me cry harder.

"My baby. My little baby" I whispered to her. Part of me keeps thinking that this was just a bad dream. Zach was going to wake me up any second and tell me how thrilled he was. But that wasn't going to happen. This wasn't some Meryl Streep movie about dealing with pain and loss. This was really life and sometimes in real life you had to do things you really didn't want to do. I knew that if I gave up that baby I would disappear into a black hole of woe.

"Louisa, honey you and mommy are going to go stay at Auntie Lizzie's."

I begin to start packing things into a duffel bag. I don't need to bring clothes for me because I always keep a duffel bag at Liz's in case of an emergency. After a few minutes of packing we are ready to go. I slip out quietly not wanting to be caught by Zach. I put Louisa in the car and went into the kitchen to leave a note for Zach. However Zach is an amazing spy so of course he sees me.

"Cam not like this." He shakes his head sadly.

"How should it be Zach?" I asked keeping my voice even and cool.

"Don't sneak of like a thief in the night."

"Zach you're asking my to give up my child. I can't do that."

"So you're leaving me?"

"Of course not, I freaking love you, but I'm going to need a little space."

"Why?"

"Because every time I see you, I can't help wondering if the child is a boy and if he looks like you, if he has your smirk. And it freaking kills me to think that I'm going to have to give that up." I start crying. Zach wraps me up in a hug and a burry my head in his shoulder. He smells amazing. I can't help thinking about the trouble boy who fell for the plain girl who no one else truly saw.

"Gallagher Girl, I love you and I just need time to think. Can you give that to me?"

"I'd give you all the time in the world, but sadly we don't' have that much time."

"What if you go and stay at Liz for a day or two and let me think about thinks."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? It kind of sound like I'm leaving you."

"No I need to be alone for a bit besides you and I both know I come hell and high water I would never ever let the best thing in my life leave."

"I love you."

"I love you." I we kissed quickly and then I left smiling for the first time in days

**Thank you so much for reading and for your support. I couldn't do it without you guys. Please let me know what gender you think the baby should be or what name you think it should have. Please Review!**


	20. Chapter 18: leaving

**Sorry it took me so long to update. Thanks to Crazy-for-Goode, futuregallaghergirl, riptidedagger33, Addie99, Zero Hitsugaya, Mrclarinet, collabkk, and everyone else for reviewing. I've now reached over 100 reviews. I'm currently looking for a beta so if anyone wants to be mine please message me. Thanks so much for reading. Please tell me if you think the baby should be a boy or girl and what I should name it. **

I drove and drove for and hour. Louisa was watching Elmo in the back of the car. I was speeding by I didn't care, I had to get away. Get away from the problems at home. Get away from my crumbling marriage. Why did I marry him in the first place? Of course I love him more than any thing, but marriage isn't just about love. It's about compromise and wanting the same things in the life. Zach and I want completely different things out of life. I would be perfectly happy to have five kids and live on a ranch where as he wants no kids. I doomed both of us to a life of compromise and regret. And while I can stand hurting myself I can't stand hurting him. I'm worried that one day he'll just pick up and leave. I guess I should give up this baby, but it feels so wrong to do that. Letting someone else have my baby. My baby would never be a spy. Part of my wanted to drive back home and fix my marriage, fix this situation and drive off into the sunset with Zach. But part of me knows this isn't going to be easily fixed and both Zach and I need our space. I want to rewrite this story. But is it too late to try? My thought ere interrupted when my cell phone rang. It was playing Love on Top by Beyoncé.

"Hey Mace, what is it?"

"YOU ARE PREGNANT AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME."

" To be fair I just told Zach a few days ago."

"YEAH, WELL YOU TOLD LIZ AND SHE TOLD ME YOU ARE DRIVING TO HER HOUSE RIGHT NOW WHICH IS TOTALLY UNSAFE. PULL OVER RIGHT NOW. I'll get a helicopter to pick you up."

"Mace where would it land and also how do you know where I am."

"I don't know where you are, but you are going to tell me. Also highways are by forest Argo I'll land the helicopter in the forest."

"Macey that's an awful idea."

"And getting a angry pregnant women drive and minivan with a two year in it while she talks on the phone is a good idea?"

"Okay one I have Bluetooth. Two I'm not angry. Three you are not landing a helicopter in the middle of I94."

" Ha, I know where you are. Also I used your car to track you. I should be there in half and hour if you pull over now."

"NO!"

"Cam just do this for me. Please. You're upset. Besides Lizzie isn't even home this weekend. She's at a conference in Texas."

"Fine, though I think this is a vey stupid idea. Also have you told Bex yet?"

"No I thought you would want to tell her."

"I'm not looking forward to it, remember how she freaked out last time?"

"Yeah, Okay I have to go. "

"Macey thanks for being such a good friend."

"Hey, someone has to be the rational one when you're off being a crazy pregnant lady."

I smiled. Macey was always really good at making me feel better.

"Cam, I know I wasn't really there for you last time, but I will be for you this time."

"Oh Macey, I know it was only because it was difficult for you."

"Yeah I am not someone who fantasized about having a baby. I like children but never thought about my own—even when I started dating Preston and knew early in our relationship that he was "the One." After we started dating, and people asked us when we were going to get married have kids, even then, I didn't think about my own babies other than to know that, yes, one day I wanted them. I thought about children abstractly. Like, "it will be amazing to have a baby one day with my incredible boyfriend, and, yes, I'll have another vodka soda, two limes, please."

But I found out that I had a thyroid problem, and then it turned out that my prolactin levels were inexplicably high, and then they thought maybe I had a tumor…

Suddenly the one thing I rarely thought about—conceiving a baby—became the only thing I thought about, obsessed about, agonized about, cried about, irrationally blamed myself for, became angry at other people about.

I wasn't there for you, one of my closest friends when you told me you were pregnant. Even though Zach was gone and everything was really hard for you. Bex, and me we shut you out. I was so ashamed that I could act that way to a loved one sharing her special news. But that's okay because this is my do-over and I'm going to be there this time around."

"Mace, I don't blame you. It's hard to watch your best friend 's stomach grow bigger and bigger. Which is why I wonder if being this involved in my pregnancy is going to be good for you. I understand if you need to take some time to be upset. Also, how "involved" you want to be in my experience. In other words, do you want to hear every development and see belly pictures as they come, or would you rather not talk too much about all the details?"

"No Cam, I want to do this. Preston and I decided a long time ago that we weren't going to have kids. It's hard, but you are my best friend and I want to be there for you. Also I want to make sure you take care of this baby and have the support you need and I know that you aren't getting it from Zach. Children are a gift and you have to take care of them."

"Thanks Mace. Zach's trying he really is. I'm just going to wait for you to somehow land a bloody helicopter next to the highway."

"Okay, but sometime trying isn't good enough. Bye Cam and try not to do and thing stupid in the next half and hour"

"Bye Mace."

After she hung up I climbed into the back seat of the minivan and watched Elmo with Louisa on my lap. Louisa leaned her head back on my chest and yawned. I stroked her hair.

"Momma is Auntie Lizzie coming?" Louisa and Liz were always very close.

"No Aunt Macey is coming."

"Is Daddy coming?"

"No honey." She pouted and went back to watching Elmo. If only Zach could see how much she loved him.

**I'm currently looking for a beta so if anyone wants to be mine please message me. Thanks so much for reading. Please tell me if you think the baby should be a boy or girl and what I should name it. **


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